ME AND MY BF ARGUED ABOUT MONEY...WTF...ADVICE PLEASE!!!?

i lent him money which i was reluctant about as i knew it starts arguments over 6months ago.he needed money whilst he was in jamaica visiting family,so i sent it through.i didn't understand why he hadn't saved before but didn't mention it.he has never been good with money, but its not my place to say that. anyways once he got back he told me he was in debt so i said for him to pay me back when he could. since then he has bought stuff for himself (luxuries) but i haven't mentioned it as i hadn't wanted to start an argument. since then he has asked me to lend him small change like £10 here and £20 there. he ous me £120 altogether.

he got payed 2 weeks ago now and we haven't spoken for a week(since the argument). we also had spoken before he got payed and he said if i wanted some of my money back, i said yes.if he could send me £20 this month and then £50 next and the other £50 the next month..he agreed. he kept asking me for my bank details but i hadn't had the chance to check my balance as i wanted to before sending him my details.

the day of the argument which was over txt msg. i txt him in the morning to see if he could come visit me at uni (long distance relationship), as he hasn't visited me yet and i have been at uni since september. i understand he has had work and financial problems (although i think it is also to do with his lack of money management skills and laziness). he replied saying he will let me know by the end of the day but he has no money. to which i responded wow u have no money?? i only have enough for half of your train ticket. i was going to send you my bank details today but im guessing you don't have my £20. (bear in mind he only got paid a week ago and lives with his mum/no house bills)

he didn't respond but later that day he txt me saying he needed a loan a big loan. i thought he meant off the bank. so i replied what do you need the money for if you don't mind me being noisy.
he txt me back saying if i could lend him money. i said sorry i couldn't. i would if i could but to tell you the truth i really needed that £20 for uni stuff and that im on a tight budget.
he replied look katherine i don't want to argue with you , i asked you how many times to send your bank details to which i replied well i don't want to either i told him how hard it was down at uni and that i don't think he realises and that i didn't think his pay check would go in a week and if he knew he had to give me £20 then why would he spend it?? (he had previously days before told me that he went clothes shopping, which angered me but i didn't say anything as i thought i would get my £20). i said that i was reluctant to lend money in the past as i knew it cause problems and if next month he could give me half he ous me , that i am telling him in advance

he replied f*** this and that i am lucky he doesn't have credit to call me. and that he is going to get money of his friends and send me all the money he ous me.

i replied he didn'tt need to do that i was just asking for the £20 and if he could just stick to what he agreed as i need more money next month not really this month and that he didnt need to be stubborn but if thats what he wishes to do then i cant stop him and not to throw it back in my face as i didnt ask for all of it. i also told him i didn't have strength to argue ( i am ill, the doctor think i have a thyroid problem which makes me tired all the time, im having blood tests at the moment)

then he started being nasty. he text me back that he doesn't want anymore of my long texts and that if i do there will me f***ing action, (meaning consequences.)
i got offended by this and replied fine i will keep it short and sweet. you reap what you sow. you are being rude and horrible to me. keep swearing at me, you are just showing me a different side of yourself to me. i cant be bothered to carry on this conversation with you.

he then responded with " katherine you must think i am joking with you. send me your details. i am serious. stop your f***ing bulls***. i dont see me and you ever understanding each other so i will have to do this the right f***ing way. dont text me. im the one that is busy. im up all day working and not sleeping all f***ing day. (which offended me as he knows im ill) what can you bring to the table? lol

i replied back saying was he ending it or just asking me not to text as i hadnt read the message properly. he then thought i was ending things and txt me that he is saying he is busy and hasnt got time for me or my bull****.but if that what i want he is cool with it as it is not as though me or his mum are looking after him.so anything i want.

i txt saying i hadnt read the msg correctly as im ill and that it offended me him taking the piss out of me sleeping as it is something i cant help. and that i try my best to look after him which obviously isnt good enough and who is here to look after me? i dont take the piss out of him so he shouldnt do that to me. and th

• 1 day ago
• - 3 days left to answer.

Additional Details

he wanted my bank details to put the money in my account. i dont think he would steal my money but you never can be to careful i guess.. i have been with him for 4 years

1 day ago

i also txt him days after the argument to break the ice and said i do love you but i cant handle your short temper or lack or respect you show me

1 day ago

to which he hasnt responded,so i dont know what to do??? i dont particularly want to dump him

1 day ago

Answer :

He's using you as a cash cow and threatening you as well
He's working and lives at home, he shouldn't need to borrow money from you
Tell him to ask his parents for money
Please don't give him your bank details -you might just get your account emptied

Answer :

I think he is being a bit of a jerk to you to be honest why does he want your bank details all the time, he could be using them for anything, how long have you been going out?
He should be asking his mam for a big loan not you know full well that you are in Uni and that you are not very well as it is. He is going to make you worse by nagging at you all the time, he is probably trying to make you feel guilty for not giving him money. Be careful to texts didn't seem very nice either good luck with it all hope you sort it out and get better soon. x

Answer :

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